"I took a quick look around, then, my eyes wide with excitment, spoke in a voice hardly legible to mom, 'Someone on the roller coatser, can I go? Please?'
She smiled at me and nodded.
I grinned and raced towards the roller coaster. I walked through the line and got on the roller coaster, I felt great, I was smiling, I must have looked wierd though, all of the people, so scared, some even closing their eyes, yet I was there smiling like it was Christmas day. I got off and returned to my waiting mother, I ran over to her.
'Had fun?' She asked.
"Yes! Thank you!" I squealed, hugging her. We left soon after, I climbed into the car and we drove to the hospital, where my mom worked.
----
Ok, I lied, nothing yet, but a little more of a hint of *cough cough* something *cough cough* in the beginnning, I was running out of time, but I'll get the rest done tomorrow.

I was expecting more of a thrill with this part, but it's ok, by the way roller coaster is spelled wrong. I think more detail should have been provided during the actual ride of the roller coaster.

Ok, this wasn't meant to be an important part, and I was going to write more but I ran out of time.

its sorta boring (no offense) but its well written you can easily get a mental picture good job!

(None taken ^^) I ran out of time to write more, but im gonna add the third (and hopefully the last) part